By using this site, you agree to the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
Accept
Independent News ExpressIndependent News Express
  • Home
  • International
    InternationalShow More
    G7 finance leaders seek non-tariff consensus in Canada, may face US pushback
    Ahead G7 Summit, Finance Ministers Seek Non-tariff Consensus In Canada, May Face US Pushback
    2 weeks ago
    Over 28,000 Women And Girls Killed In Gaza Since October 2023
    2 weeks ago
    Global Aid Cut
    New Report Reveals How Global Aid Cuts Affecting Women’s Organisations Aiding Women In Crises
    3 weeks ago
    UNICEF Raises Alarm Over 14m Children Worldwide At Risk Of Malnutrition
    2 months ago
    United Nations for Women
    In 8 Days, 830 Killed In Gaza – UN Women Raises Alarm
    2 months ago
  • Africa
    Africa
    Show More
    Top News
    Burkina Faso: UN Calls For Immediate Release Of 50 Kidnapped Women
    2 years ago
    Hunger, Diseases, Insecurity Threaten Life In Horn of Africa, As ‘129,000 Looking Death In The Eyes’
    2 years ago
    Niger Coup: PeacePro Urges AU, ECOWAS To End Foreign Military Presence In Africa Within 24 Months
    2 years ago
    Latest News
    Cameroon Tops List Of World’s Most Neglected Displacement Crises
    1 day ago
    ECOWAS Marathon Race Director Okon Congratulates Commission on 50th Anniversary
    1 week ago
    Africa Day: Majority of Africans Want African Nations Be Given Greater Influence In International Decision-making Bodies
    1 week ago
    Edelman Africa Launches Regional Advisory To Support Global Institution Growth In Africa
    3 weeks ago
  • Corporate News
    • Media Outreach
  • Politics
    Politics
    Show More
    Top News
    Imo Traditional Rulers Honour Buhari With ‘Friend In Diaspora’ Title
    2 years ago
    36 Lion FC Congratulate Lagos State Governor, Babajide Sanwo-Olu
    2 years ago
    Tinubu To New Ministers: You’re To Serve The Nation, Not Your Regions Or States
    2 years ago
    Latest News
    LG Election: Stakeholders Appeal To APC Not To Allow Chairmen Run For 3rd term
    4 weeks ago
    More APC Chairmanship Aspirants Reject Indirect Primary For Local Govt Elections In Lagos State
    1 month ago
    Youth Party Sets May 18 for Lagos LG Primary Elections, Slashes Fees For Women and PWDs
    2 months ago
    Oyo State Faces Herculean Task in Picking Makinde’s Successor – Chief Ayorinde
    2 months ago
  • News
    • Agriculture
    • Breaking News
    • Tech
    • Maritime
    • Crime
    • Art & Culture
    News
    Show More
    Top News
    Celebration Of Life: Reverend Adewumi Jegede Of Later House Of God Assembly Buried Amid Pomp
    12 months ago
    Pa Abdulfatah Amoo Ayanwale
    Pa Ayanwale Dies At 76, Fidau Prayers Holds 8 August
    2 years ago
    Ondo Governor, Akeredolu Begins Construction Of First Flyover In Akure
    2 years ago
    Latest News
    Former EFCC Boss, Bawa Unveils Explosive Book On Nigeria’s Fuel Subsidy Fraud
    17 hours ago
    IMSUAA 2025: La-Ghost And Starblaze Could Draw Inspiration From Convention Theme
    2 days ago
    IMSUAA 2025 Convention: Two Artistes From Lagos Chapter To Light Up Event
    1 week ago
    Lagos SWAN Celebrates Yeni Kuti On Her Special Day
    2 weeks ago
  • Entertainment
    • Comedy
    • Movies
    • Music
    • Television
    • Concert & Events
    Entertainment
    Show More
    Top News
    Holiday Vibes Continue On GOtv This January
    2 years ago
    Xpression With CDO Campus Tour Rocks OAU, Plans To Hit Over 50 Varsity Campuses 
    2 years ago
    Burna Boy Emerges First African Artiste To Hit 1 Billion Audiomack Streams
    2 years ago
    Latest News
    Nigerian Idol Season 10 Live Shows Are Underway as the Top 10 Battle for Stardom
    1 week ago
    Nigeria Strengthens Fight Against Content Piracy Through Strategic Partnerships
    2 weeks ago
    Prestige, Impact: Why AMVCA is the People’s Award Show
    4 weeks ago
    Celebrating African Cinema: AMVCA’s Growing Influence in Global Entertainment
    1 month ago
  • Lifestyle
    • Fashion
    • Love & Life
    • Food & Drink
    • Travel & Tourism
    • Relationship
    • Sex
    Lifestyle
    Show More
    Top News
    ZEN Opens Second Studio In Lagos
    7 months ago
    Christmas: Obasa Congratulates Christians, Urges Love Among Nigerians
    1 year ago
    African Legend Youssou N’dour Lauds 8th AFRIMA In Dakar, Urges Africans To Celebrate Heritage
    2 years ago
    Latest News
    Lagos SWAN Joins UN To Celebrate World Nutrition Month At Unilag Confab
    1 week ago
    Yemisi Shyllon Museum of Art and Toledo Museum of Art Launch Historic Cultural Exchange
    4 weeks ago
    Piracy in Africa’s Creative Sector: How Creators Can Protect Their Content
    2 months ago
    Fanti Carnival Returns To Lagos This Easter Sunday
    2 months ago
  • Business
    • Banking & Finance
    • Oil & Gas
    BusinessShow More
    Lagos Will Continue To Lead Initiatives That Accelerate Economic Diversification – Sanwo-Olu
    2 weeks ago
    Afreximbank
    Afreximbank Reports Strong Performance For Q1 2025 In Line With expectations
    2 weeks ago
    Pan-African Payment & Settlement System
    Nigeria Unlocks Intra-African Trade With New Pan-African Payment & Settlement System Policy Boost
    4 weeks ago
    Impact Of Online Trading Platforms Like Temu On Nigeria’s Economy
    4 weeks ago
    Unity Bank Launches GenFi, Targets Children, Teens With Gamified Banking Platform
    1 month ago
  • Health
    Health
    Show More
    Top News
    WHO Wants More Action To End ‘Cycles Of Poverty And Stigma’ Related To Tropical Diseases
    2 years ago
    Dakar Declaration: WHO Moves To Save Lives Through Road Crash In Africa
    2 years ago
    Loneliness Linked With Elevated Risk Of Cardiovascular Disease In Patients With Diabetes
    2 years ago
    Latest News
    Roche Launches Diagnostics Operations In Nigeria,
    1 day ago
    Alimosho Football Coaches Council Set For Health, Safety Business Workshop
    2 weeks ago
    World Hypertension Day: Merck Foundation Commits To Improving Cardiovascular And Diabetes Care Across Africa
    3 weeks ago
    First Lady Gives Paediatric Support To Indigent Patients At Lagos General Hospital
    3 weeks ago
  • More
    • Sports
    • Aviation/Transportation
    • Deliverance Hour
    • Industry & Labour
    • Insurance
    • Interview
    • Judiciary
    • Metro
    • Opinion
    • Property
    • Religious
    • Romance
    • Science & Discovery
Reading: Intimate Affairs: When A Woman Padlocks Her Honey Jar By Funke Egbemode
Share
Notification Show More
Aa
Independent News ExpressIndependent News Express
Aa
  • Home
  • International
  • Africa
  • Corporate News
  • Politics
  • News
  • Entertainment
  • Lifestyle
  • Business
  • Health
  • More
Search
  • Home
  • International
  • Africa
  • Corporate News
    • Media Outreach
  • Politics
  • News
    • Agriculture
    • Breaking News
    • Tech
    • Maritime
    • Crime
    • Art & Culture
  • Entertainment
    • Comedy
    • Movies
    • Music
    • Television
    • Concert & Events
  • Lifestyle
    • Fashion
    • Love & Life
    • Food & Drink
    • Travel & Tourism
    • Relationship
    • Sex
  • Business
    • Banking & Finance
    • Oil & Gas
  • Health
  • More
    • Sports
    • Aviation/Transportation
    • Deliverance Hour
    • Industry & Labour
    • Insurance
    • Interview
    • Judiciary
    • Metro
    • Opinion
    • Property
    • Religious
    • Romance
    • Science & Discovery
Have an existing account? Sign In
Follow US
  • Advertise
© 2022 Foxiz News Network. Ruby Design Company. All Rights Reserved.
Independent News Express > Blog > Opinion > Intimate Affairs: When A Woman Padlocks Her Honey Jar By Funke Egbemode
Opinion

Intimate Affairs: When A Woman Padlocks Her Honey Jar By Funke Egbemode

Last updated: 2023/02/26 at 8:13 AM
2 years ago
Share
SHARE

For a woman, sex is not just physical. It is much deeper. Her orgasm is not just about reaching the peak of pleasure. It is about peaking happily and happily peaking. And for her to be roused and aroused, the arouser must be more than physically fit. He must be to her more than a warm and solid body. It is good for a man to be loaded downstairs but it is even better and more effective for him to be the man in whom she is truly pleased. That is why each time I hear that a man is complaining about not getting some or not enough, my counsel is that he should dig deeper beyond the surface and the physical. If your woman is happy, chances that she will make you happy between the sheets are high.


‘My wife just lies there like a log of wood.’
‘She does not respond to all the coaxing and kissing.’
‘Mine behaves as if she’s doing me a favour.’
‘Yours is better. My wife asks me, in the middle of the do, if I had finished. Can you imagine? Isn’t a woman supposed to know when her husband has finished?’
Sorry, there is no woman who does not know when her husband ‘has finished’, trust me. The height of the event is always celebrated by earth-shaking movements, right? Whether it is 33,000-litre delivery or a 100-metre dash, a man will deliver with some kind of bang. Therefore, if a woman asks her man if he was done, in the middle of the show, something is wrong, very wrong. One, she is not feeling him. Two, she just wants him to drop his load and get the heck off her. She is not happy, period. Of course, there are men who overstay down there, naturally or unnaturally. They pump and hump until the nozzle feels like it is going to catch fire. It is only when the poor woman feels that her center of excellence is liable to go up in flames that she begs for mercy and a quick finish. But when a woman is displeased, angry and or is just doing her duty, ah, she just wants the man to ‘do quick’ and get out of there.

- Advertisement -
Ad imageAd image


I remember a friend telling me about her fire-down-there experience. I’m smiling even now.


I had not seen Joke for three straight days and we were next-door neighbours. What happened? Her sailor husband had just returned after being away for six months. My friend thought she was prepared for Tony. She thought she was the hungry one. But when Mr Sailor started paddling, she knew he was beyond famished. She told me how she had to do sit-baths that morning because ‘Tony had badly used the place.’ She had missed her husband and he had missed her too. The marathon was consensual.


Note, however, that the women we are talking about here are wives, women in committed relationships, not runs girls or those doing it for the money. Those ones will feign pleasure and pant in fake orgasms for as long as they can. They will endure a burning nozzle because sex for them is a business venture, a task that must be accomplished. This piece is about the women who do sex as if it is a duty and more importantly, wives who do not let their husbands lift their wrappers.


Yes, there are women who lock up the shop for days, months and I have heard of wives who denied their men access of any kind for years. It’s a mean thing to do, I agree but don’t forget where we started this discussion from. Intimacy is not what you can achieve with a woman who is upset with you. No, sex is an expression of affection and contentment for a woman. How your woman responds to you in bed, my dear brother, speaks to how she feels in her heart. A woman’s heart and her Centre of Excellence (COE) are linked and the two must agree to work together for the man to get maximum pleasure. A happy wife is a tiger in her man’s bed. She will go to his bed with pleasure and satisfaction on her mind. Even when he is aging and finding it difficult to put together a command performance, she helps him.


But how many men are willing to admit that it is their attitude in the living room that is causing trouble in the bedroom? How many men are considerate enough to do better during the day so they can get improved pleasure at night? Except women who have commercialized their territories, women cannot flip their sex life on and off like an electric switch.


There are many things that can make a woman unavailable in the bedroom. If she feels unloved, unprotected, cheated or taken advantage of, she will be too dry, too unwelcoming for her man.


Let’s look at the case of Wande. She had always been hardworking and focused. She knew where she was headed and she boarded the vehicle going to her proposed destination. She was a young doctor when she met Debola, a graduate of economics. She must have felt Debola and her were going in the same direction when they fell in love but she soon found out that her husband was lazy and unambitious. He did not care who wore the pants in their marriage as long as the pants got worn. If there was a need to change the car, it was okay if his wife bought a new one. Wande paid the rent, bought baby things for both their kids. All Debola did was impregnate her as at when due, after which he promptly returned to his couch potato status. He knew all the television programs. He knew who had just moved into the neighbourhood. He read newspapers from front page to the back page. After 10 years of waiting for her husband to wake up to his responsibility, Wande gave up on him. She simply stopped trying.


She even stopped praying for him to change. Ten years of the same prayer points? Wande simply gave up. She was sad and depressed but Debola didn’t care enough to change his ways. It was particularly irritating that he wanted sex so often, as if making love to his wife was the only physical exercise he needed daily. Wande said she felt cursed. She cried so much, her eyes were permanently blood-shot. The decision to stop him from touching her was not a conscious decision per se. She just found out she no longer found him attractive. His touch no longer turned her on. It was a gradual steady degeneration of what once was a passionate relationship. One week turned into months and she found out she no longer missed sex or her husband’s touch. Yet he did not change his ways. She continued to struggle with the responsibilities of the family. Then one day, she announced that she had been nominated to attend a women’s summit in Dubai and she would like to go with her children since they were on holidays. She left with her children and has since not returned. The last we heard of was that she was in Canada.
Debola almost ran mad when it dawned on him that his attitude had cost him his marriage and cozy life. Did you say it was a cold and mean thing Wande did? Maybe, maybe not. Not all women are cut out for life with a full-time house husband. There are women who love to wear the pants and call the shots but is that even a natural course of life? Whichever way you look at it, it is difficult to get in the pants of a woman you treat like a man. If you want her all soft and succulent behind closed doors, treat like a woman all day, every day.

Funke Egbemode can be reached at [email protected]

You Might Also Like

Hypertension: Case for Sodium Consumption Regulation, Healthier Diets

Tinubu’s Lifejacket And A Deer’s Sacred Skin By Festus Adedayo

Unplanned and Unprepared: Scary Outlook Of Retirement No One Talks About

EKITI’26: “Between Hullabaloo And Logic”

How Warning Labels Can Save Nigerians from Toxic Diets

TAGGED: Intimate Affairs
INadminNG February 26, 2023 February 26, 2023
Share This Article
Facebook Twitter Whatsapp Whatsapp LinkedIn Telegram Email Print
Previous Article VIDEO: Political Thugs Unleash Mayhem On Lagosians, Voters Run For Safety During Presidential Poll
Next Article Nigeria Signs African Disability Protocol
about us

Independent News Express (iNews Express), a publication of 4Ds Nigeria Limited, is birthed out of the desires of the founding fathers to report News as it is.

We value Professionalism, Excellence, Service, Creativity and Integrity.

The Company

  • Home
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Privacy & Policy

Quick Links

  • Advertise with us
  • Newsletters
  • Deal

Categories

Find Us on Socials

© Independent News Express. All Rights Reserved.
Welcome Back!

Sign in to your account

Lost your password?